Jackie Kennedy talked about suicide with two priests following the assassination of her husband, President John F. Kennedy, according to a shocking new story in PEOPLE magazine.
After her husband was murdered in 1963, Kennedy, then 34, was allegedly in such a dark place that she contemplated taking her own life to be with him again.
Father Richard McSorley recounted a conversation he had with the former first lady, in which she asked him “if God would separate her from her husband if she killed herself.”
On a separate occasion, Kennedy also wrote in a letter to Irish priest Joseph Leonard that she felt “bitter against God.” The idea of raising both of their children — Caroline, 6, and John Jr., 3, — alone and without her husband was too much to bare.
See photos of Jackie Kennedy and JFK together:
Jacqueline Tortorice, second from right, of Los Angeles, Calif., leans forward Tuesday, May 27, 1997, at the John F. Kennedy Library and Museum in Boston as she examines the wedding gown worn by Jacqueline Bouvier for her marriage to John F. Kennedy, which took place in Newport, R.I., on Sept. 12, 1953. Included in the exhibit are the red woolen suit Mrs. Kennedy wore during her televised tour of the White House, as well as film footage and numorous historic objects pertaining to the Kennedy Administration. (AP Photo/Steven Senne)
Despite her deep despair, though, the revered public figure used her strength to eventually realize that suicide was not something she wanted to ever go through with.
“She finally interrupted [McSorley] and said, ‘Father, I understand. I know it’s wrong. I wouldn’t do it. But it’s so lonely out there,'” the report continued.
Kennedy died over three decades later in 1994 at the age of 64.
More from AOL.com:
Gayle King dishes on Oprah Winfrey’s ‘year of adventure’ and hiking the Grand Canyon
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s signature mismatched socks, explained
Conan O’Brien takes jabs at Donald Trump, stresses importance of work ethic at Beat the Odds Awards