An Amazon employee whose usual role appears to involve promoting the site’s video game deals may very well be one of the world’s leading authorities on waffle irons.
On Thursday, marketing manager “AmazonJosh” posted a deal on Reddit’s GameDeals subreddit, offering $20 site credit for pre-ordering one of four upcoming video games. While answering questions about the deal, a user interjected with an unusual off-topic request: Could Josh provide any advice on purchasing a waffle maker?
As it turns out, Josh could. He responded with what might be the definitive guide to buying waffle irons.
He starts by making it clear that “waffle iron” is the preferred nomenclature (noting that “only peasants refer to them as waffle makers”), and then provides an overview of the “cheap but good” category of irons. His pick here was the $26 Proctor Silex 26500Y, which he praises for its ease of use, compact form factor and big indicator light.
Next up: the pricier “advanced” waffle irons, which have “additional features, better build quality, and are usually more aesthetically pleasing.” He mentions one iron with an LED countdown timer, a couple with rotating mechanisms for even cooking, and one from Cuisinart that cooks four waffle at a time (though Josh cautions that each waffle is only four inches to a side). He also gives a personal recommendation to the Presto 03510 FlipSide: “I prefer the flip motion of this to the West Bend, it feels more substantial; I’m taking a bigger part in making supreme waffles rather than changing the channel on an old television set.”
This is a man who takes his waffles seriously.
After taking his audience on a tour of luxury waffle irons (“they certainly [let] you look people in the eye and say ‘I care enough about waffles to spend $180 on a waffle iron.'”), Josh then dedicates 300 words to novelty waffle irons, a category includes an iron that makes Mickey Mouse-shaped waffles and one that makes heart-shaped waffles. There’s also one that makes waffles on popsicle sticks, but Josh couldn’t hide his disapproval, explaining that, “It’s incredibly awkward to eat from a popsicle stick horizontally, but if you hold the stick vertically, any delicious goodness held in the valleys of the waffle will drip and fall out.”
Finally, he concludes his 1,500-word treatise on waffle irons with a humble, “Sorry I had to be so brief, hope this helps.” The whole spiel reminds us of Bubba’s epic shrimp monologue from Forrest Gump (“… pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp …”).
We’re not sure if the expertise on display here is a testament to the dedication of Amazon’s employees, or if this is just a guy who really likes waffle irons and happens to work at Amazon. We reached out to Josh to find out how he came to know so much about the topic, but haven’t heard back yet. We like to imagine he’s busy making waffles.
Matt Brownell is the consumer and retail reporter for DailyFinance. You can reach him at Matt.Brownell@teamaol.com, and follow him on Twitter at @Brownellorama.